Remembrance
by Jayne Leigh
Summary: When the gang deal with the death of an old friend, they all have different emotions about it. Will it change their friendships? It will bring some closer together but also tear ohters apart. Please R&R. CM and a bit of RR (part 5 up now)
1. Default Chapter

Hey, I've started a new fic! I'm not to sure about the history with Kip and the gang so sorry if this is wrong or anything. Set sometime during season 2/3. Monica with Richard and Ross and Rachel are together but the others are single.

Please review and let me know what you think!

****

Remembrance

"Hey…how long till dinner?" Joey asked straight away as he walked into the girls' apartment.

"Not long…" Monica told stirring her sauce. They were all there to have dinner together that night because they had been so busy that it seemed like ages they spent time all together.

"Is Richard coming too?" Rachel asked, helping Phoebe set the table.

"Yep, he'll be here soon." Monica said, slapping Joey's hand away before he had chance to steal some bread. "Where's Chandler?"

"He'll be over in a bit…" Joey rubbed his hand. "He's having a deep and meanful conversation with someone on the phone."  
  
"What?" Ross asked.

Joey shrugged, "He looked annoyed…"  
  
"Annoyed?"

"Yeah or upset…"

"Probably his Mom then." Ross predicted. 

The 5 chatted about their day while they waited for the other 2 to join them before they started eating.

"Hey, everything okay?" Monica asked when Chandler walked in.

"Yeah, who was on the phone?" Joey questioned.

Chandler leant back against the door; he slowly looked up at them.

"What's going on?" Rachel frowned in concern.

"It…it was Sarah Hunter…" Chandler told them, looking way.

"Who?" Joey asked.

"Hunter?" Ross repeated. "As in Kip's wife."  
  
"Yeah…" Chandler nodded.

"What did she want?" Phoebe crossed her arms. She never really got along with Kip; she only hung out with him because he was Chandler's roommate and best friend and then later Monica's boyfriend.

"Oh don't tell me…" Ross cut in before he had chance to reply. "They're getting a divorce and she's warning you that he's on his way here…"

He didn't like Kip either, not just because of the way he treated his sister but also because he was jealous of his and Chandler's friendship. They grew up together and then went off to different colleges but then when they finished they decided to share an apartment.

Monica looked down at floor while they tried to guess what the phone call was about. Kip was her first proper relationship and no matter how long ago it was it still hurt her.

"Or he cheated on her and she wants to get back at him by sleeping with you…." Phoebe speculated, as Ross, Joey and Rachel all laughed lightly.

Chandler leant his head back against the door and closed his eyes, as a lump raised his throat and the phone conversation repeating over and over in his mind.

Rachel stopped laughing when she noticed Chandler's expression. "Chandler, are you okay?"  
  
"He's dead…" He whispered, not daring to open his eyes.

Monica's head snapped up, "What?!"

"He's was killed yesterday…" He repeated a little louder when he got no response he looked around at them. Monica sat staring at him, a tear in her eye. Both Ross and Phoebe just stood shocked, trying to take in what they were just told.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry, you guys…" Rachel said breaking the silence.

Ross nodded slightly before looking over at Chandler, "How did it happen?"  
  
"He was hit by a car…" Chandler told them. "Died late last night…."

Once again the room was silent. Joey and Rachel didn't know what to do, they didn't know the guy and only heard stories from Ross and Phoebe. Both Monica and Chandler didn't like to talk about it because Monica had got hurt by him and he use to be one of Chandler's best friends.

Ross and Phoebe both busied themselves with making sure everything was set out rightly at the table. The news not really affecting them that bad, sure they were sad that he was dead and all but they never really liked him in the first place.

Monica wasn't sure how she should feel, there was a time that she loved him and then there was a time that she hated him for breaking her heart but now she didn't have a clue how she felt.

Rachel finally moved forward and hugged Chandler once she realised that none of the others were going to. She knew that Ross and Phoebe would be okay and she wasn't sure about Monica but Chandler was close to Kip and looked on the verge of tears.

Chandler was quite surprised it was Rachel hugging him and not Ross, Phoebe or Monica. He looked over at them, frowning when he noticed none of them seemed that bothered.

"You okay?" Rachel asked, as he pulled away and moved to sit down at the table.

"Yeah, I guess so…" He said quietly.

Before anyone could say or do anything the door swung open and Richard walked in.

"Sorry, I'm late…." He stopped in mid sentence when he saw their faces. "Wow, who died?"  
  
"I think I'm going to go to bed…" Chandler said standing up.

"I thought we were going to have dinner together?" Monica looked over at him.

"I'm not that hungry…" He replied, he smiled sadly, "Sorry, Mon…"

"Was it something I said?" Richard asked once Chandler had left.

"No, honey…" Monica sighed, "it's just an old friend just died…"  
  
"Oh god…"

"Maybe someone should go talk to him…" Rachel suggested.

"Yeah, I'll go.." Joey volunteered walking out the apartment.

"So, who was it?" Richard asked, hugging Monica.

"His name was Kip… him and Chandler went to high school together…" Monica explained, "he lived in the apartment before Joey."  
  
"Is that the one who you dated?" He question.

"Umm…" She mumbled.

"Oh, I'm sorry Sweetie…" He said, kissing the top of her head.

"What's with you two?" Rachel looked at Ross and Phoebe.

"What do you mean?" 

"You didn't seem to care that one of your friends had just died."

"We wasn't that close to him!" Ross defended them. "Plus we haven't seen him in years!"

"Yeah, well you could have pretended for Chandler's sake…"

"You think he'll be okay?" Phoebe asked, biting her lip lightly.

"Course he will!" Ross stated, "it's Chandler!"

Just then Joey walked back in.

"Hey, that was quick…" Rachel said to him.

"Yeah, he wasn't there…" Joey shrugged, "probably gone for a walk." 

"Think we should look for him?" Monica asked, already beginning to feel guilty for not comforting him, he was her best friend and he was always there for her.

"Maybe we should just give him some time to think…" Richard said.

"Yeah, okay…" Everyone slowly agreed.

****

XxXxX

Chandler pulled his jacket tighter around him as the cold wind blow around him. He was sat alone in Central Park, it was dark and no one was about. He closed his eyes and thought about everything that happened. He was confused by the others' reactions, he knew Ross and Phoebe never really liked him and there was all the history with Monica but he thought would at least be a bit upset.

Kip had been his best friend since he was 2 years old, he lived over the road from him and when his parents started to argue, he spent most of his time at his house.

They always planned on living together when they were High school and Chandler was really excited about it after he left college, he couldn't wait for Kip to meet his other best friend, Ross. They never hit it off and Chandler found himself suck in between them, he either had to do something with Ross or with Kip, he could never do anything with both of them together or there would be a massive fight.

Things got a bit better when Ross and Carol got married because of Ross wanting to spend more time with her but then it got worse again when he started dating Monica.

Kip and Monica didn't really meet until about 7 months of Monica living opposite them and in those months Chandler and her had become best friends, partly because neither had Ross to hang out with and Kip was busy with one of his many girlfriends. That all changed when they met and Chandler was pushed out. Then when they broke up, he was expected to pick sides, he hated it and tried to stay out of it as much as he could. He was grateful when Kip announced he was leaving but was gutted that he wasn't going to be living with his best friend anymore.

He knew Kip never meant to hurt Monica and that's why he decided it would be fair if he moved on but what the others didn't know what that they kept in touch. He didn't like keeping it to himself that he still talked to Kip and knew the others probably would understand as they did grow up together but he couldn't go through being in the middle again. Now Kip was dead and he didn't know who to turn to. Joey and Rachel didn't know him. He couldn't talk to Monica, it wouldn't be fair on her to bring back all those bad memoirs and Ross and Phoebe were acting as if he never met him.

He sighed, as he felt a few drops of rain land on his head, a perfect way to end a perfect day….

TBC

Please review and let me know if its worth continuing.


	2. The Truth

Sorry it took so long to update!

Becky: I'm good thanks! I know we haven't spoken in a while:(…I hope to soon!! Oh the role-play is going great!!

Here's the next part!! Tell me what you think!!

Enjoy!

The Truth

By the time Chandler had made his way back to his apartment, he was soaked through and all his friends were waiting for him.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Monica asked as soon as he walked through the door.

"I was thinking…" He replied quietly, hanging his head slightly.

"God, you're soaked!" Rachel exclaimed, quickly handing him a dry towel.

"Thanks…" He mumbled. "I think I'm going to take a shower though…"

He disappeared into the bathroom before anyone could say anything to him.

"You think he's okay?" Rachel asked, concerned.

"Well, no…his best friend just died!" Joey stated. "But give him time…" 

"Yeah, you're right…" Rachel nodded. "If we all support him and all…"

"Course we'll support him!" Ross said. "We're his friends."

"You weren't very supportive early when he told you!" Joey shot back at him.

"What did you expected me to do? Break down in tears!?"

"No…"  
  
"Alright, enough! Both of you!" Monica stepped forward. "Fighting isn't going to help anyone!"

Joey and Ross continued to stare at each other for a few seconds before Joey stepped back.

"Yeah, you're right…I'm sorry.." He said, while Ross nodded.

"Yeah me too…"

They all took their seats again, remaining silent until Chandler re-entered. He finally emerged 20 minutes later, wears a pair of sweats and his thickest jumper.

"Hey, you feeling better?" Rachel asked softly.

"Yeah I guess…" He replied, sighing as he sat down on one of the Barcaloungers.

"You're shaking!" Monica stated, from her position in the other one.

"I can't get warm…" He told them, trying to force a smile to reassure them and not to panic them.

"I'll make you some hot chocolate…" Monica jumped up and moved into the kitchen. Ross and Rachel leaned forward from their positions on the couch, while Joey and Phoebe sat facing him on the bar stools.

"You want to talk about it?" Ross offered.

Chandler looked up, all eyes on him. He shook his head slightly.

"Okay…" Ross nodded. "Is there anything you want?"  
  
Chandler shook his head again before looking back down at the floor. Wondering what had change Ross' attitude; before he had acted like he didn't care at all.

"Well, if you think of anything…just let us know…" Rachel added softly, she sighed when Chandler's only respond was nodding his head, he didn't even look up at her.

Joey glanced around at everyone, silently asking what they should do. Ross shrugged and leant back against the couch. No one spoke, no one knew what to say or do.

"Here's your drink…" Monica said turning to hand to Chandler; she smiled slightly when she noticed he had fallen asleep.

"I guess we should go…" Rachel whispered, standing up.

The others nodded, gathering their things and heading for the door as quietly as they could.

"Night, Joe…" Monica said as Joey walked over to his room.

"Cya in the morning…" He replied before disappearing behind the door, leaving Monica alone with Chandler.

She watched him for a minute before going into his room and bringing out a blanket to cover him up with.

"Sweet dreams…" She whispered, gently kissing his cheek before leaving.

****

XxXxX

"Morning, guys…" Joey said as he walked into the girls' apartment and saw everyone already there.

"Hey…where's Chandler?" Monica asked.

"He's on the phone again." Joey sat down and reached for the pancakes. "I think he's talking to Kip's wife…"

"So, what's everyone got planned for day?" Ross changed the subject, quickly.

Rachel frowned slightly at him, wondering what his problem was. They all listened to Phoebe complain about the horrible client she had when Chandler walked in, causing the conversation to stop.

"Y'know it feels good to walk into a room and people stop talking…" Chandler said, sarcastically.

Rachel laughed slightly. "Don't worry, Phoebe was just tell us what she's doing today…"

Chandler nodded and sat down, not really bothered if they were talking about him or not.

"So, how you doing?" Monica asked, as he poured himself some coffee.

"Eh, okay…I guess.." He shrugged, staring into his coffee cup.

There was silence for a minute before Phoebe decided to continue with what she had been saying. Once she had finished, no one spoke, they just eat quietly.

"So, what you doing then?" Joey asked Chandler, unable to bear the silence anymore.

"I dunno…I gotta some time off…" Chandler told him, before turning to Monica, Ross and Phoebe. "The funeral is in 3 days…I thought we could drive up the night before and then drive back the day after…"

"What?" Ross frowned slightly. "I'm sorry but I got work, I can't go…"

"What?" 

"I can't just take a few days off work when I feel like it!" Ross stated.

"Your friend has just died! I'm sure they'll understand!" Chandler looked at him but he turned his glaze back to the paper, refusing to back down. "What about you two?"  
  
"I've got clients all week…sorry…" Phoebe said, picking piece off her toast, not being able to look him in the face.

"Mon?"

"The restaurant is kinda of busy at the moment…." She mumbled.

Chandler shook his head, before pushing back his chair, the wood scrapping on the floor. "Fine!"

"Chandler stop acting like this!" Ross put his paper down.

"Like what?!" He stood up, glaring at him. "Like my best friend had just died?! Or like my other best friends don't give damn!?"

"Exactly! YOUR best friend, not ours!" Ross shot back.

"But he was your friend to! You hung out with him nearly 4 years! God, Monica even dated him!!"

"So! We weren't close with him!" Ross pointed out. "We only hung out with him because of you!"

Rachel reached up, trying to pull Ross back down in his seat, not wanting one of them to say something they would regret later.

"Plus we haven't seen him in 6...7 years, that's how great a friend he was!" Ross continued. "I mean, you two acted as if you were brothers or something then one day he just takes off, leaves you without a roommate and he didn't even bother to visit or anything!"

Chandler glared at him for a minute, his fist balled up at his side. Joey was ready to interfere if things got any more out of control but before anyone could say or do anything Chandler stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

"Oh way to be supportive, Ross!" Joey said sarcastically.

"Come on, he was being a jerk!" Ross sat back down.

"Yeah but he's best friend just died…what's your excuse?" Rachel asked quietly, standing up, heading towards to door to go and find Chandler.

She found him pacing around in his apartment; she closed the door quietly behind her. She kind of hoped that Ross would follower her over and talk to Chandler himself but it looked like he was being stubborn, again.

"Hey…" She said, grabbing his attention.

"Hi…" He replied, as calmly as he could. "Why am I not surprised that its you in here and not them!?"

"What do you mean?" She moved closer to him.

"Well, you and Joey seem more upset over Kip's death then them lot put together!" Chandler stated, before dropping into one of the chairs covering his eyes with his hands. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that…."

"Hey, don't apologise…" She told him. "Look, Ross was a jerk, okay….but its just because he doesn't know what to do or say, just like Mon and Phoebe…"

"They don't need to say or do anything!"

"Then what do _you _want them to do?"

"I dunno…" Chandler sighed, looking up at her. "I don't what to do myself…"

"Look, why don't you come back over and talk to them…I'm sure they'll understand and you'll feel better…"

Chandler nodded slightly. "Yeah, okay…thanks, Rach…"

"No problem." She gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand gently as they headed back into her apartment.

They all turned to look at them as they walked back, everyone waiting for someone else to speak first.

"Umm, Ross…I'm sorry…uh about the why I acted.." Chandler shuttered, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Ross watched him for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, okay…thanks.."

"Ross!" Rachel hissed when she saw him look back down at his paper.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to say sorry, too?"

"What for? I didn't do anything…" He glared at her.

"So, you're not going to say sorry for what you said about Kip?" Chandler questioned.

"Why should I?"

"Because you were out of line!" Chandler snapped.

"Hang on, what I said was true!" Ross stood up again, causing Joey to as well in fear of a fight.

"Look, why don't we all calm down!" Joey tried to reason.

"You made him sound like he didn't care about anyone!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Well, he didn't!"

"You can talk!" Chandler shot back. Ross took a threatening step towards him but Joey managed to put himself between the two, pushing Ross back.

"Both of you just stop!" Monica said.

"Yeah, look can't you just talk about this like adults…" Rachel added.

"Look, if Chandler wants to cry about some jerk then what's that's got to do with us?" Ross asked, looking around at everyone.

"Okay, now that's differently out of line!" Joey stepped back to stand next to Chandler.

"No, I agree…" Phoebe said, causing everyone to look at her. "I mean, Kip was a jerk… look how he treat Monica!"

Monica sighed heavily and sat back down, she really didn't know what to do.

"How he treated Monica?" Chandler repeated. "So, lets get this straight…you hate the guy because of something you _believed _happened!?"

"What do you mean believed!?" Monica questioned, staring at him.

"Alright, you wanna know the truth?" Chandler asked, glaring at Ross. He past being nice and trying to sort things out, now he didn't care what they thought. "Mon and Kip start dating… after a while Kip met up with an old girlfriend around this time he realises he's still in love with her…"

"So, it makes it alright for him to cheat on Mon because he loved this women!?" Ross interrupted.

"Kip ends things with Mon because it's not fair on her… Sarah also rejects Kip…" Chandler contained, shooting evil looks at Ross. "Kip's friends jump to conclusions and turn their backs on him, forcing him to move away!" 

"Whoa...hold on, are you saying Kip never cheated on me?" Monica questioned.

"It wasn't until he moved away that he and Sarah got together… over a year…" Chandler explained.

"No, I don't believe it!" Ross laughed slightly at Chandler's version.

"Yeah! If you knew this why didn't you say something?" Phoebe said, believing Chandler was making it all up to stop Kip looking bad.

"Oh yeah, like you got would listen!" Chandler said. "I mean, god…I couldn't do anything with both Ross and Kip at the same time because they would always be arguing about something…Phoebe used every excuse in the book not to spend time with him…. And well, when he started dating Monica, I got pushed out!"

"Pushed out? What you talking about?!" Monica frowned.

"Before, me and you stayed up all night talking or watching some crappy film or something…then when you got together, I hardly saw you…well except when you had arguments and expected me to pick sides!"

"I…I didn't know you felt like that…" Monica said quietly, hanging her head guilty.

"So! That doesn't mean anything…" Ross cut in. "If what you said was true, why did you let us think for so many years that he did do it?"

"I tried! When you lot were talking about I would tell you that we didn't know the whole story but you instead it didn't matter what Kip or I said because you believed what you wanted to believe and I couldn't disagree with you!!"

"Oh don't be stupid!" Ross smirked. "We wouldn't hate you if you disagreed with us!"

"Oh yeah? Well, then how come when I agreed with Kip about who the best Knick's player was, why did you stop talking to me for three days?!"

"Well, that was different…" Ross stuttered.

"How?!"

"Look, its not the point!"

"Yes it is!! My best friend moved all the way across the city because he didn't want to cause me any problems."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, softly.

"He thought that if he stayed then they would think that I was taking his side and stop talking to me and he didn't want that…" Chandler told them. "If I would have known it would turn out like this, I wouldn't have let him…."

"Chandler…"

"At least I know how you treat your friends now…" He glanced at him one more time before moving towards the door.

"Chandler wait…" Joey tried to stop him.

"Just leave me alone!" He muttered, pushing past him and out of the apartment. 

"You happy now?" Rachel looked at Ross, shaking her head before walking into her room.

**Please review and let me know what you think! Oh and sorry to any Ross fans for making him act like a jerk!**


	3. Thinking Back

**Thanks for all the reviews!! **

**Mondler4ever8- you have to wait and see what happens! Stop trying to get it out of me :P Hehehe!**

**Enjoy!! **

**Thinking Back**

"Chandler?" Joey called out as he walked into the apartment, minutes after Chandler had stormed out of the Girls' place.

"Yeah?" He heard the weak reply from his best friend who was sat in one of the Barcaloungers.

"Are you okay?"

"Excellent…" Chandler said sarcastically.

"Look, Ross was out of line…"

"No, he wasn't…" Chandler sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"What?"

"I can't blame them for not wanting to go to a funeral when they hated the guy."

"No, Chandler its wasn't just that…" Joey told him. "Some of the stuff he said…"

"Look, Joe it doesn't matter okay?"

"Chandler, I've never seen you shout or so worked up before…" Joey frowned. "Why have you suddenly had change of feelings?"

"I haven't had a change of feelings." Chandler informed him. "I've just had enough of everyone fighting…of people having to take sides."

"Well, okay…" Joey wasn't exactly sure what Chandler meant. "You going to come back over?"

"Nah, I'm going sort some things out…" Chandler told him. "I've decided leave a little earlier then planned."

"What? Why?" Joey demanded. "You said the funeral isn't for another 3 days."

"I know but I can't stay here, Joe…" Chandler ran his fingers through his hair.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know what to do…" He admitted. "I don't know how to handle it…"

"That's what we're here for!"

"I know and I'm grateful but how can Mon, Pheebs and Ross be here for me when they hated him?"

"What about me and Rach?"

"You didn't know him." Chandler told him. "I think I need to be around people who knew him…Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I think it does." Joey nodded. "So when you coming back then?"

"I dunno…" Chandler looked down.

"You don't know?"

"Joe, this is so hard!" He glanced up at him quickly before looking away again. "No one I've been close to has died before…I don't know how to act…what to do…"

"And you think staying down there is going to help?"

"I don't know but it was were I grew up," Chandler explained. "It's where me and Kip both grew up. There's people who knew us there."

"Okay…" Joey sighed, knowing there was nothing he could say or do to change his mind. "But you are coming back, right?"

"Yeah." Chandler assured him. "Just after I've caught up with some old friends."

_**XxXxX**_

"Hey, how's Chandler?" Monica asked when Joey returned later.

"I think he's slowly falling apart…" Joey told them, he glanced at Ross. "Man, you gotta talk to him."

"Why should I make the first move?" Ross scowled.

"Look, Ross…he's a mess over there." Joey said. "He needs someone to talk to."

"You talk to him, then!"

"I've tried but I never knew Kip…I don't know what to say."

"Yeah, you think he's going to wanna hear what I say?"

"Why can't you just forget about it all?!" Joey snapped. "I thought Chandler was your best friend."

"He is!" Ross shot back. "But if I go over there now, I'm just going to make matter worse."

"Alright, fine but at least go to the funeral with him…" Joey suggested. "I mean, I know you didn't like him and all but isn't that funerals are about? Moving on, saying goodbye and stuff?"

"Look, Joe…I can't go." Ross sighed.

"Please, Ross!" Joey begged. "Just go."

"Why?"

"Because I'm worried that if he goes on his own, he's not going to come back…"

"What?" Phoebe asked. "That's crazy!"

"Yeah, his life is here!" Monica added.

"What life?" Joey questioned. "I mean, he's not seeing anyone…he hates his job….we've all he's got."

"Chandler's not going to leave us!" Rachel stated.

"He's going back to where he grew to see all his old friends…what if he realises he could have a better life there?" Joey asked.

"But Chandler's happy here!" Ross told him.

"Is he?" Joey turned to him. "Because he seemed to be quite depressed these last couple of months."

"He would have said something to one of us!" Monica insisted.

"Look, I just don't want to lose him."

"You're not going to lose him!" Ross sighed. "He's going to go the funeral, say goodbye and then come back and get on with his life."

"I hope so…" Joey mumbled, still concerned, he's friends hadn't done much to convince him that Chandler would be okay.

_**XxXxX**_

Monica began to clear the dishes away when everyone had left, deep in thoughts. Thinking about everything Chandler had said. Him feeling left out when Kip and her got together. Kip never actually cheating on her. Chandler losing his best friend because none of them would listen to him or Kip.

She was sure Kip had been unfaithful because she thought their relationship was going great and then one day he turned up and broke up with her. Her mind wondered back to the day, 5 years ago.

**1991**

"**Hey, sweetie…" Monica greeted Kip as he walked through the door, putting her arms around his neck, leaning up for a kiss.**

"**Mon, we need to talk…" He told her quietly, gently pushing her away.**

"**Is everything okay?" She frowned in concern as she followed him over to the couch. **

**  
"I think it might be best if we break up…" Kip looked down at his hands.**

"**What?! Why?"  
**

"**I don't think we have a future," he explained. "Its not fair on you if we continue this."**

**  
"But I love you." Her eyes filled with tears as she wait for his answer but he just hung his head silently. "Do you love me?"**

"I'm sorry, Monica…" Kip looked up at her, tears in his own eyes. "I really care about you and I thought I could love you but…"

"There's someone else, isn't there?" She cut him off, it was more a statement then a question. 

"**Sort of…"**

"You jerk!" She cried, pushed him away from her as she stood up.

**  
"Mon, let me explain…me and Sarah…"**

"I don't care!" She yelled. "Just get out!" 

"**Mon, please…"**

"Go!" 

**  
Kip sighed in defeat and slowly walked towards the door. "For what its worth, I am sorry."**

"Just get out." She wrapped her arms around her own body as her eyes stayed on the floor; tears silently running down her face. 

**She curled up on the couch, crying for what seemed like hours. She didn't even move or look up when she heard the door open and close silently. Somehow, she already knew who it was.**

"**I'm sorry…" Chandler whispered as he fell into his arms.**

"**I love him."**

"**I know." Chandler kissed her hair comfortingly. **

"**Its not fair…" She cried harder and clung onto her best friend. "How could he do that to me?"**

"Isn't it better to end it now instead of when its too late?" Chandler asked softly. "Before anything happened?"

"It already happened!" She told him. "He already cheated on me!" 

"**What?" Chandler said in disbelief. He knew his friend was going to end things with her and he knew Kip had feeling for Sarah but he didn't think there was anything going on between them. "Are you sure?"**

"He admitted it." She sniffed. "What did I do, to deserve that?"

"Mon, you did nothing wrong, okay?" He reassured her. He didn't know what was going on but he determined to find out the truth. "These things just happen."

They sat holding each other for the rest of the night, neither of them needing to talk. 

Monica sighed, realising that Kip never actually admitted that he was cheating on her and he had tried to explain something but she wouldn't let him.

She glanced at the door and thought about what Joey had said about Chandler being unhappy with his life and there was a chance he would leave and not come back. She couldn't loose him, he was her best friend.

She quickly dried her hands off and picked up the phone.

"Hi, it's Monica Geller, I'm just ringing to let you know I won't be in work for the next couple days…" She spoke into the receiver. "Yeah, an old friend has just died, I have to go to his funeral…."

**TBC**

**Please review and let me know what you think! :D**


	4. Going Home

**Hey! Here's the next chapter! Thanks for the reviews! **

**Lindsey2- Yes I have read your fic million of times!! I love it so much!! **

**Enjoy!!**

**Going Home**

"Hey, man…I've been thinking." Joey started as he watched Chandler pack for his trip. "Why don't I come with you?"

"Why would you want to go to some guy's funeral, who you didn't know?"

"Well, I don't but I want to be there for you…" Joey explained.

"Joe, I appreciate the offer but I've got friends there." Chandler told him. "I'll be fine."

"I don't mind, you know."

"I know you don't…" Chandler smiled at him. "Thanks but its something I need to do with out your help."

"Alright but if you change your mind…"

"You'll be the first to know."

"Okay, well you know where I am…" Joey smiled unsure, wanting to do something to help Chandler but he didn't have a clue what.

_**XxXxX**_

Monica pulled her suitcase out of her bedroom, living by the big window before heading into the kitchen.

"Um, Mon, what's going on?" Ross asked, as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe and himself saw her bag.

"I'm going with Chandler…" She told them, avoiding their looks.

"What?!"

"He needs a friend…" She shrugged.

"He won't let you…" Joey shook his head. "I've already offered."

"This is different…I knew Kip."

"You had your heart broken by him." Rachel pointed out.

Monica sighed and rubbed her forehead. She didn't know why she had a sudden urge to go with Chandler but she knew it was something she needed to do. Chandler was her best friend, he was always there for her and she wanted to be there for him. Also what he said earlier about Kip not actually cheating on her made it think. She always thought Kip was a nice guy, well up until their break up and she thought she owed it to him to go and pay her respects, even if it was just to make her feel better. Before she had chance to start explaining this to the rest of them, the door opened and Richard walked in. She suddenly felt guilty, all this time she had been thinking about Chandler and she completely forgot about her boyfriend and the fact it was their 4-month anniversary.

"Hey, honey…" He smiled at her walking over to her, kissing her cheek softly.

"Um, hey…" She replied, quietly.

"Is everything all right?" He frowned in concern.

"Erm, yeah…yeah it's fine…" She managed to say, glancing at the others who were watching the scene eagerly. "But there is something I need to tell you…"

"What? What is it?"

"I can't make it tonight…" She admitted, looking at the floor.

"What?!" He exclaimed. "Why not?!"

"Well, it's Kip's funeral in a few days and we're going to drive up tonight…"

"Who's we?" Richard interrupted.

"Me and Chandler."

"Chandler…" He repeated, with a small laugh. "Why am I not surprised."

"What's that meant to me?!" Monica demanded.

"You seem to have more time for him lately then me!" Richard raised his voice slightly just as Chandler walked in.

"What's going on?" He asked but the others shushed him, wanting to know what was happening between the couple.

"That's ridicules!" Monica yelled back.

"Well, whatever!" He snapped, turning and headed towards the door. He stopped and looked at Chandler. "Guess you win again…"

Chandler frowned as Richard slammed the door behind him, he looked around the room that was know silent.

"Okay, someone going to tell me what the hell just happened?" He asked.

"He's just being stupid, that's all." Monica muttered, walking towards the refrigerator.

"Why don't I believe that?" Chandler replied sarcastically. "Monica?!"

"He's just annoyed that I've decided to go with you to Kip's funeral…that's all." She sighed but refused to look at him.

"What?" Chandler glanced at the others, questionable but they all shrugged. "Mon, you don't need to go."

"I know."

"I thought you were busy at work?"

"I've already booked time off."

"Why are you really coming?" He asked. "Because if you're doing just for me then there is no point."

"What's wrong with wanting to be there for your friend?" Rachel cut in, even though she wasn't really part of the conversation.

"I've got plenty of friends there to be there for me…" He stated. "I don't want to be the cause of fights and all."

"Chandler this is my decision." Monica finally turned to look at him. "Okay, yes part of me is going to make sure you're alright because you're my best friend but I also need to go for myself, for Kip."

Chandler was silent for a moment, thinking about what she had said. The other four exchanged looks as Chandler and Monica just stared at each other, all trying to work out what they were silently saying to each other.

"Okay, we'll leave at 6:30..." Chandler finally spoke. "I've got some stuff to sort out, I'll come pick you up later."

"Okay." She gave him a small smile. "I'll see you then."

_**XxXxX**_

It was 7pm and they were on their way, Chandler drove while Monica sat in the passenger's seat, looking out at the rain that splashed on the window. Chandler glanced over at her, neither of them had spoke since they started off. He sighed and flipped the radio on, quiet music filling the car caused her to turn to look at him.

"So, umm…were are we going to stay?" She questioned, knowing they couldn't not speak through the whole journey.

"My Mom still owns a place down there…" He replied. "I called her this morning, she said it was fine."

"Oh right, that's good then.."

"Yeah, I haven't been back since I left college…"

"Is it the house you grew up in?" She asked, slightly surprised.

"Yeah…" He nodded. "Why?"

"I don't…just weird…" She shrugged. "I thought with everything you went through as a kid there'd be to many bad memoirs…"

"Well, yeah but there also some good ones…"

"Oh right, well that's good…" Monica smiled. "It'll be nice to see where you grew up."

Chandler looked across at her and returned the smile, causing her to widen; that was the first time she seen him smile genuinely since it had all started.

After driving for another hour, the rain started to pour down heavier and Chandler had to squint to see where he was going. He saw a hotel just ahead of them and pulled into the car park.

"We'll have to stop for the night…" He sighed and looked at Monica. "I can't see anything."

"Oh okay…" She stretched a little.

"I'll come get our stuff in a bit…lets just get a room sorted first." Chandler suggested as they both got out. They started running for the entrance of the hotel and Chandler reached for her hand, pulling her along with him causing her to laugh, which made him laughed.

Once they were in the dry, they looked at each other and laughed harder before Chandler stood up straight and headed towards the reception desk, still holding her hand. She stayed silent as Chandler was booking the rooms, her eyes on their hands entwined. A small smile crept across her face.

"There is only one room available but it has two beds…" Chandler told her handing her the key. "You wanna go up and I'll grab our stuff."

"Oh, okay…" She said, slightly disappointed about him letting go of her hand. "You sure you don't need a hand?"

"Nah, I'll be fine…" He smiled and headed back outside.

Once in the room, Monica sat down on one of the beds, wondering about what she was beginning to feel. Chandler was her best friend but there was more to it, now… she didn't know why but it was the way she felt. She sighed, she shouldn't be feeling this way, she had a boyfriend, who she loved…but he also didn't trust her, she thought about earlier when he said she had more time for Chandler then him…she laughed slightly, maybe he was right. She was pulled from her thoughts when there was a knock at the door.

"Hey…" Chandler stated when she opened it, taking her bag of him.

"You're soaked…" She replied, as he closed the door.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to have a shower…" He headed towards the bathroom. "I won't be long."

"Okay." She smiled, watching him go in. She sighed and opened her bag, looking for her pyjamas, all she wanted to do was go to bed and get some sleep.

10 minutes later, Chandler walked out of the bathroom and looked at Monica, still searching through her stuff.

"Um, Mon…" He said, causing her to jump slightly. "What you doing?"

"Looking for my pyjamas, I can't find them…" She sighed loudly. "I must have left them at home."

Chandler laughed slightly and forced himself not to make a comment. He walked over to his own bag and pulled out a sweatshirt. "Here, will this do?"

Monica smiled and took it. "Thank you."

"You're welcome…" He replied as she headed towards the bathroom to get ready for bed. Once she closed the door behind her, he sat down heavily and ran his fingers through his hair; trying to ignore the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Thunder clapped loudly and lightening lit the sky. After talking about their plans once they arrived at Chandler's home the next the morning and ringing Rachel to let the others know they were okay, they turned off the light and tried to get some sleep. When more thunder hit, Chandler heard Monica jump slightly.

"Mon, you okay?" He asked.

"Uh-huh…fine…" She mumbled.

"Mon?" He reached over and turned on a light, looking at her.

"Thunder storms freak me out…" She smiled weakly, Chandler laughed slightly and shook his head. "Hey! It's not funny!"

"No, no…it's not…sorry…" He replied but still grinning, he moved over in his own bed and opened the cover to her. "Come here?"

She hesitated slightly before getting up and climbing into bed with him. He leaned across her to turn off the light but when his hand was resting of the switch, they find themselves, staring into each other eyes. Chandler slowly leaned down but stood an inch from her face and they continued to stare at each other; no words needed.

She couldn't tear her eyes anyway from his, they were so blue, so beautiful. She saw him leaning forwards again her eyes closing involuntarily, this time his lips gently brush against hers for no longer then a second. Her eyes fluttered open to look at him again.

His heart beat faster and faster every second, he wanted nothing more then to kiss her again and for all night but he couldn't. She had a boyfriend, who she loved. He decided it would be best to leave it at that before he had chance to move away, she ran her hands up his back, sending shivers all over his body and up into his hair. Her eyes never left his as she pulled his head back down towards her….

**TBC**

**Please review**


	5. Tense Atmosphere

**Thank you for all the reviews! Keep them coming!! **

**Chandlers-girl04: You are if it was hard writing all these stories at the same time. Well, yeah it can be at time….I think all of the ones I'm working on at the moment are quite depressing and angst-y so yeah it can be hard! But I'm going to start a series with happy and funny things happening in it to help me out a bit!! **

**Anyway!! Here's the next part!! **

**Enjoy!!! **

**Tense Atmosphere **

Chandler suddenly realised what was going on and pulled away, looking down at the bedcover, knowing she was looking at him questionable.

"This can't happen, Mon…" He said quietly after a few seconds of silence.

"What?"

"We can't do this…" He finally looked up at her. "You love Richard, I know you do…"

"Yeah…" She nodded, feeling a stab of guilt as she thought about her boyfriend. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me…"

"I'm sorry too…" He replied. "I shouldn't have let it happen."

"So, we're still friends then?" She questioned, warily.

"Of course!" He tried to give her a reassuring smile. "Lets just get some sleep, yeah?"

"Yeah…" She forced a smile back.

"Okay, night…" He kissed the top of her head in a friendly way before flicking off the switch and moving over to the other side of the bed. Letting her decided whether to stay there or go back to her own bed.

Monica glanced at him through the darkness, wondering if she should say or do anything. She decided against both, she should just there and try to get some sleep. If she moved back to her own bed then he would think she was feeling awkward around him, she didn't want that. He was her best friend.

Chandler felt her pull the quilt tighter around her as she moved around slightly to get more comfortable but he reminded still, keeping his eyes closed. If they needed to talk about it, it would be better off in the morning once they've both had chance to sleep and to think.

An hour later, neither of them was asleep but silence was still hung over the room. Monica watched him, wondering if he was asleep or not. Her mind drifted back to earlier; he had broken the kiss because of Richard. She thought about how he had entered her mind before she kissed Chandler back but continued anyway. Now she questioning why that was. She really thought she loved Richard, they use to have a good relationship but lately they had been arguing a lot. Which made her spend more time with her friends and as most of them had busy lives it would normally end up being just her and Chandler, sitting up till late, watching movies and eating ice cream.

Richard actually had accused her about having feeling for Chandler but she just laughed and told that he was just a friend, a really good friend but nothing more. Ever since then, she had looked at him differently. When she first meet him during college and for a while after he just moved in, she had a tiny crush on him but that went away after a bit and they became best friends. Now all those feelings were coming back and she didn't know why. Maybe it was because her relationship with Richard was going through a rough patch and he was always there to comfort her. Maybe it was because he was upset about Kip's death and she wanted to comfort him. Or maybe it was because she really did have feeling for him. She sighed quietly in frustration and rolled over to face the other way, deciding to get some sleep.

Chandler let his eyes flutter open when he felt her turn over, he looked at the window watching as the rain pelted down against the window, sliding down it like a mini waterfall.

_**XxXxX**_

The next morning, they both silently got ready and left the hotel, speaking to a minimum.

"Uh, it's just down this road…" Chandler told her, breaking the silence they had been in for the last hour.

"Oh, okay…" She glanced at him before looking out the window. Her mouth dropped open when she saw how big the houses on the street where. Most of them had at least two expensive and flash cars parked in their driveway.

"What's wrong?" Chandler asked, slightly amused by her expression. "I thought you knew my parents were rich."

"Well, yeah…" She stuttered slightly. "But I never thought you use to live like this…"

Chandler frowned. "How did you think I lived?"

"I dunno….nothing like this…"

"Oh, okay…" He laughed lightly as he pulled into a driveway.

"So, this is your house?" She questioned looking at it in astonishment.

"Yeps, home sweet home." He said sarcastically before getting out of the car. "Come on, let's get in."

They grabbed their bags and headed towards the house. Chandler noticed a few curtains moving from the houses across the street as his neighbours watched them curiously. He waved at them all before opening the door and pushing Monica inside quickly.

She was about to ask what was going on but was amazed by the side of the house more then she was at the outside.

"Wow…" She murmured as she looked around the hallway. The ceiling was high and the floor had polished wooden floorboards. There was a huge staircase with a small mahogany desk at the bottom.

"Impressed?" He asked, teasingly.

"Well, yeah…just look around…" She replied.

He rolled his eyes jokingly. "Come on, I'll give you a tour then I need to go out."

"Go out?" Monica questioned, looking at him.

"Well, yeah…I uh, I told Sarah that I would stop by when I arrived…" He explained. "Hey, you should come and meet her."

"What? No…no can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because it would be weird and awkward…."

"Mon, Kip never told her about what happened between you guys…" He assured her.

"What?"

"Well, she knew the two of you were dating but he never told her how it ended…" Chandler informed her.

"Oh…"

"Look, Mon, you don't have to come if you think it'll be uncomfortable…" He told her. "But just so that you know, Kip held anything against you or any of the others."

"Really?" She asked, surprised.

"Yeah…" He nodded. "He regretted how it all ended and wished he had tried to talk to you about instead of just leaving but I guess everyone just moved and got on with life."

"Yeah, I guess we did…" She said thoughtfully. "Y'know what, I'll come with you."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I mean Kip and I were friends before we got together…" She stated. "And our relationship was good until the end…"

"Okay, great…" He smiled. "Thank you."

"No problem…" She returned his smile.

_**XxXxX**_

After Chandler had give her the tour of the house and they had unpacked their stuff, they headed for Kip's house. It wasn't far so they decided to walk.

"So, what's she like?" Monica asked, breaking the silence as they walked side by side.

"Sarah?" Chandler looked at her. "She's really nice, she's a really good friend."

"Oh yeah? How did you all meet then?"

"During High School…" Chandler shrugged. "She and Kip dated for a couple of years."

"I thought you went to an all boys school…" Monica frowned slightly.

"Yeah, we did but she went to the all girl's school down the road from us…" He explained. "Our schools joined up from time to time, like they would be our cheerleaders and stuff…we even had our prom together."

"Oh right…"

"Yeah…" He said quietly, looking at her for a minute before continuing. "He never meant to hurt you, Mon…He really did care about you but he knew it wasn't fair on either of you if you stayed together…"

"I know…" She gave him a small smile. "I feel really bad about the way I treated him…"

"Oh, Mon…don't worry about that." He reached out and squeezed her hand. "He never held a grudge or anything."

"I guess but that doesn't make much of a difference…" She sighed, stood still. "I mean, like you said before he was your best friend and he moved anyway because of us lot."

"He would have left anyway." Chandler shook his head slightly and stopped walking to.

"Yeah but you hardly got to see him…"

"Actually…" He interrupted, quietly. "I uh, I saw him quite a lot."

"What?"

"Well, I came and stayed with them for a day or two about every 6 months…" He averted his eyes.

"Really?" She questioned. "Why didn't say anything?"

"I dunno…" He shrugged. "I didn't know if you would understand."

"Chandler, that's crazy, he was your best friend…" She told him. "Of course we would have understood."

"Yeah, you're probably right but at the time I just couldn't be doing with any of the arguments or anything…" He sighed. "Saying I was going on a business trip was just easier."

"Yeah, I guess…" She said thoughtfully. "I mean, we were pretty mad at him when he left and both me and Ross can be quite stubborn."

Chandler smirked slightly. "Only quite?"

"Hey, watch it, Bing…" She replied but also smiling.

"Alright, sorry…" He held up his hands in mock defence. "Thanks…"

"What for?"

"For understanding…"

"No problem…" She flashed in a smile; both of them looked into each other's eyes.

"So…uh…we should probably keep walking…" Chandler said after a few seconds but made no attempt to move himself.

"Yeah…" Monica replied quietly but then realised she was staring at him and turned to carry on walking. "So, uh… is there far to go?"

"Oh, no…not really…" Chandler started to walk to.

"Okay…" She nodded, looking down at the ground as they walked.

Chandler glanced at her a few times as they continued to walk in silence, wondering what he could do make the tense atmosphere that had settled over them disappear.

"So, uh…when was the last time you was here?" Monica asked, breaking the silence.

"Oh about 5 months ago…when…." He suddenly stopped and closed his eyes. "Oh god."

"What?" Monica frowned. "What is it?"

"I came out just after Ellie was born…" He explained, sadly. "He's got kids Mon and they've just lost their Dad…what am I going to say to them?"

"Oh…. I didn't know…I didn't realise he had kids…" Monica stuttered. "How many?"

"Two boys and a girl…" He told her. "Nick, who's just turned 6.… Zack who's 3 and baby Ellie…She's not even going to remember her Dad is she?"

Monica didn't say anything, wasn't sure what she could say, knowing there was nothing really that would comfort him.

"I'm sorry, Chandler…" She whispered.

"He didn't deserve this…" He claimed. "He had a family and he was happy, it shouldn't have happened to him!"

"I know…" She rubbed his arm, consolingly.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes briefly. "Come on, it's only around the corner."

"Okay…" She nodded and started to follow him. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah…yeah I think I will…" He nodded but it was uncertain.

The silence took over them again but this time it was comfortable and neither of them felt as though they needed to break it so just continued without speaking. Monica looked around at the house; they were smaller then the ones on Chandler's street but still quite big.

Chandler stopped and looked at her before he walked up a garden path, which Monica assumed it must belong to Kip and his family. She shifted from one foot to the other nervously as Chandler fished out a key and let himself in.

"Hello?" He called out once he had closed the door behind them. No answered but the sound of small footsteps running towards them was heard and it wasn't long before a small boy appeared, beaming widely.

"Chandler!!!!!" He exclaimed and Monica was surprised to see Chandler knell down on the floor with his arms open, letting the boy run into his arms. She hadn't seen him around children, except Ben but she had always predicted that he would be quite nervous around them which was why she was so shocked about how easy he seemed around the little boy.

"Hey, Zack!" Chandler said after a while, standing up with him in his arms. "How you been?"

"Good…" Zack nodded and then grinned at him. "Did you bring me any presents?"

The comment made both Chandler and Monica laughed slightly.

"Sorry, buddy…I didn't have chance…" Chandler apologized. "But how about we go to the park later and after get some ice cream?"

"Will you push me on the swings really high?"

"Higher then the tree tops!" Chandler grinned at him.

"Cool!!"

Monica laughed again quietly, which caused Chandler to glance at her quickly.

"Hey, Zack…I want you to meet someone…" He turned around so Zack and he was facing her. "This is Monica…"

Zack looked at her curiously for a moment. "Are you Chandler's girlfriend?"

"No…" Monica giggled again. "No, we're just friends…"

"Oh, okay…" He shrugged and stuck out his hand. "I'm Zack?"

"Nice to meet you, Zack…" She gently took his hand, sharing a smile with Chandler.

"Its just Zack…don't call me Zachary…" He stated, his noised scrunched up. "I don't like being called Zachary."

"That's because you only get called it when you're in trouble…" Chandler told him, tickling, causing him to laugh and wriggle around.

Monica watched them with a smile on her face, amazed at how good Chandler was with him.

"Were you my Daddy's friend too?" Zack's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Uh, yeah…yeah he was…" Monica nodded.

"A lot of my Daddy's friends are coming around to see us…" He told them but then looked at Chandler. "But he's not here anymore."

"I know, buddy…" Chandler said sadly. "So, uh…where's everyone else?"

"Mommy is talking to Grandma in the kitchen…" Zack told him.

"Come on, then…just Zack…" Chandler set him down on the floor. "Let's go and find them."

"Okay!" Zack grinned before sprinting off again, leaving the pair to follow.

"Hey…" Monica reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him. "You okay?"

"Yeah…" He nodded, giving her a small smile of thanks before they headed off into the kitchen.

**TBC**

**Please, please review! **


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